Painting and decorating

It’s been a year

It has been a year now since my father passed away. I go to his grave on a regular basis to put flowers there and I find that helps me. When I leave the house on my way to the grave, I ask my father to sort the weather out (which being in Wales, 9 times out of 10 means it is raining!), and most of the time, it stays dry. I know this is just a coincidence but it gives me a little hope that he is somewhere watching me (I say somewhere because I’m not a religious sort of person and don’t really believe in heaven or hell).

The anniversary of his death was yesterday (8th March 2019) and although I normally either go on my own or with Kev, I decided to see if my mother wanted to come. My mother normally goes to the grave with my brother when he comes to visit (he lives in England), but he’s not down at the moment so I thought she would want to go on the anniversary. She agreed to come. Kev had decided that he should come to and drive, just in case I got emotional. All my mother kept saying was that it was a year to the day on Friday (6th March) but because it was a leap year, it had pushed it forward two days. I was going to explain to her that it was the date that mattered not the day but I thought it better to leave her deal with things in her own way.

I asked my father again for dry weather but I forgot to ask him to warm it up a bit (he is buried on the side of a hill and it can get a bit chilly in the wind), so the three of us braved the cold to put flowers down. Afterwards, as I normally do, we went back to my mother’s for a catch up on events that had been happening.

It’s sometimes hard to put into words how much I miss him so being a budding writer (not particularly a poet!), I decided to write a poem for the anniversary of his death. So here goes:

Today is the anniversary,

Of when you went away.

Can’t believe it’s been a year

When you could no longer stay.

Although the hurt is easing,

The tears will sometimes come,

The sadness will take over me

And make my heart so numb.

But then I think of all the times

Where we laughed until we cried,

When you taught me how to live my life,

And not to run and hide.

I know you are up there Daddy,

Looking down on me.

Pushing me forever onwards

To be the best I can be.

I miss you Daddy,

And always will.

I loved you then,

And love you still.

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